Lord, what’s heaven like?
August 18, 2009
I saw my grandma’s body tonight, helped get it ready for the visitation tomorrow. I’m mixed with so many emotions. I don’t know what to feel or think. I’m numb. I’m in shock. I’m still in denial. She should be stopping by tomorrow to drop of the pants that she fixed for me or to just say hi as she and Mona are walking. I want to be angry, ask why, place blame on someone, but most of I’m full of intense grief and sadness. I love her. She has such a special place in my heart. (It’s hard to put things in past tense when talking about her)
It’s 2am and I can’t sleep so I spent some time in the word. Phrases that keep coming up are “trust in the Lord.” Two people sent me verses with that reference (Psalm 125:2, Isaiah 26) I flipped to Revelation and read through chapter 4-5.
“Each of the flour living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under his wings. Day and night they never stop saying:
Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is, and is to come.
Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne, and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say:
You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”
“And they sang a new song:
You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals because you were slain and with your blood you purchased men for God from very tribe and language and people and nation. You ahve made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth…
Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!”
I don’t understand the events that have happened the past three days. But I know this: This is the God I serve. This is the God my grandma is worshiping right now, in complete perfection before HIS throne. He is sovereign. He is good. He is worthy of my praise, even more in my pain is he worthy of praise and glory and honor.
